Delicious

So I think the new guy at the hotel (who also happens to be my supervisor) sexually harrassed me yesterday. Or, if you want to look at it differently, hit on me. I have worked with him one time before this, so I don't really know him at all. I do know that in the month he's been there, he has falsified his time card at least twice. He's from some Eastern European country; Serbia, I think. I think about Slobodan whenever I see him, even though that's not even close to his name. So anyway, what happened is he said How are you, to which I responded, fine thanks, how are you? Seems innocuous enough. Except that hisresponse was "Delicious." WTF? I was a little bit grossed out. At first I chalked it up to his foreignness, but later thought he knows English well enough to know that Delicious isn't a suitable answer for that question. So then I started thinking that perhaps it was a way of him 'feeling me out' to see if I might be game, especially since he didn't really bug me for the rest of the night. It kind of weirded me out, though. Weird. Now you know how much I enjoy hot foreigners (i.e. Assman from South Africa, the hot Czech, etc.), but this guy isn't even close to being in the same league. If the hot Czech were Brad Pitt, this guy would be Steve Buscemi. Not at all worthy of what I have to offer, which is much.

Anyway, just thought I'd share. And for the record, yes, I am delicious.

Idiots

I always enjoy talking to you. You seriously need to figure out your call waiting. Or is that your clever way of getting rid of me??? I had another sex dream today, but it didn't involve you. It did, however, seem very real to me.

The further I get through the year, the more I start to think about how I plan on being in Prague at this time next year and how weird/awesome that will b. I know I can't get you to visit me here, but perhaps you will visit me there. It occurs to me that I haven't seen you since 2005, which seems like forever. What's up with that?

I have to figure out when to go to the museum before Wednesday. I'm so tired of school. Tired of engaging in ridiculous exercises. I just want to make stuff. Movies. Oh, and get laid. How pathetic is it that I've spent the entire break so far hoping the Czech will call? Actually, another boy called and wanted to come up. I said ok, and then I never heard from him. Jerk. When did boys become so unable to follow through? It's almost as if they are afraid they will like the way things turn out. Ugh. Idiots.

Lost at Sea

Eat. Seriously. You're too thin. So I'm spending the holiday with a bunch of strangers and a few people I actually know. I'm a little scared. Until a few hours ago, I thought it was going to be just a few people. Pressure's on now. I also have to figure out when I'm going to get all my work done. Yesterday it seemed like I would have a whole bunch of time to get things done, and now I'm seeing my time slip away with all sorts of commitments that I never planned on having. Like work. I hate those people. I keep telling myself I only have to get through the next couple of weeks and everything will be fine. I just might be unemployed. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now.

Mostly I'm hoping the cute boy at school will call me this weekend. I left the invitation open for him in case he felt so inclined. I supposed I should pick up my room just in case.

This is always the beginning of my least favorite seasons, mostly because from now until February, I will constantly be reminded that I am inching closer and closer to spinsterhood and there seems to be no end in sight. I already have an invitation to a holiday party that mentions 'significant others'. Next will come the articles everywhere about how to have a romantic holiday, what to buy said significant other, blah blah blah. And then there will be all the people around me who either brag or bitch about hanging out with S.O.'s family and how lame or fun it's going to be. I already have one friend telling me how much she misses her boyfriend. This after she revealed to me that she and him have never had sex with each other. Ever. And she thinks he's getting ready to ask her to marry him. And I can't help but think to myself how unfair that is. I am starved for attention of just about any kind, and can't seem to find it anywhere. Unless you want to count the dream I had where we had sex. That was a little awkward to wake up to. In real life, all I've got is an intellectual (and hot) Czech guy who probably thinks of me like he thinks about his mom, and a cute bartender who seems to become more and more a part of my life without any effort on my part. I also believe he hates his girlfriend, but that is mere conjecture. However, he never talks about her, and since August, he has gone to the East Coast (he went to Clemson, by the way) twice and left her behind. Hmm. Sounds fishy to me. Not to mention that a man who has previously tortured and mistreated me wanted to hang out the other night, and if I had opened the door to extra shenanigans, he would have definitely taken the opportunity. He felt so comfortable staring at my chest he even commented on the color of my bra. He clearly has trouble discerning the difference between silver and white. And yes, there is a part of me that wanted to, but I can't go back down that road again. It was an ugly place. And I worked hard to find a new road. Plus the Czech is hot and single. His English is probably better than mine. He uses words like 'ephemeral'. Who talks like that?

Anyway, it's like being thirsty in the middle of the ocean. I'm not even shipwrecked. I'm lost at sea.

Duke sucks

You should be so proud of me. You know that screenplay I'm working on? I managed to write 'Duke sucks' into it. I didn't really plan it, it just happened. I was pretty pleased with myself. Turns out, one of my villains is a Duke fan, so the heroine has to point out the obvious.

On another note, I have recently learned that my friends with significant others seem to enjoy the fact that I am single. I think it's a twofold sort of enjoyment. When I'm miserable, they can be smugly hopeful, with lots of "you'll find him" type comments, despite the fact that I have been on the worst dates you could possibly imagine. Oh the tales I could tell you. But I think the part for them that's even more fun is the part where I regale them with tales of my latest attempts to get some, all of which have been fruitless. I don't really plan to entertain them with my misadventures. It just happens. How would I know that the cute bartender would move in to the apartment next door to my office? How would I know that the hot security guy who gave me his phone number a year ago and then never called me back would turn up again? That he would regale me with the story of how he got stabbed multiple times and now has a bunch of scars? (It's gross and weird, but for some reason, scars are hot.) That the guy who invited me to spend a weekend with him would hook up with the cougar next door? That I would give the hot Czech my phone number and forget a digit? (Oops, kind of shot myself in the foot with that one). That I have to find any and every excuse to talk to/touch/meet whichever hot guy crosses my path? I don't plan these things. I just really want to get laid.

On another less jovial note, I got an invite for a holiday party at my non-profit job. It said "for everyone and their significant other". Great. Awesome. Apparently, I'm the only one without the S.O. Thanks for the reminder. I know they mean well, but it still sucks. I thought I would be dodging holiday party awkwardness this year. Guess not.

Anyway, hope things are well.

Layoff Upside

I just figured out the real upside to losing my job. It means that I can have sex with whoever I want. Yay! I guess my only challenge then would be finding someone who's willing. This has been somewhat of a problem for quite some time, though. It shouldn't be that hard. Have I lost my touch? Maybe the truth is that I've grown unbearably ugly and I just can't tell. Maybe I'm really some whale with horrible acne and a cackly laugh and zero wit. Who knows? But I doubt it. But seriously, I need to get laid.

My roommate admitted to me today that she hasn't had sex in a year. It made me feel kind of guilty since I've gotten some more recent than that. But then again, she's a lot more careful and selective than I am. She borders on prude. Not that that's a bad thing, but I'm definitely a lot more open to possibilities than she is.

Every time I turn on the TV, I see it. I might be developing a weird crush on Dr. House. And Don Draper from Mad Men. And Nate Archibald, Chuck Bass, and Dan Humphries. And Mike Delfino. And maybe even Homer Simpson. I'm replacing sex with television. That can't be good. The last time I had sex was in August. Me and my thousand dollar bed are lonely. And out of practice. That's never good.

So perhaps I need to start to case the people at work (the ones under 50, that is) and see who might be willing and can make the cut. As much as it would seem impossible, I do have standards. They aren't as low as you would think. I actually prefer the hot ones. Or at least adorably nerdy.

Maybe I should have been praying for sex instead of competent president.

Blech

There was a big rally somewhere down the street tonight, presumably about the ban on gay marriage. They kept going until 9:30. I'm really tired of all the ads on tv. They are everywhere. I especially don't care because I sent in my ballot two weeks ago so it's too late to change my mind, even if I wanted to. I'm little bummed that I'm going to be at school all day on Tuesday so I won't be able to watch election results.

I'm going to lose my job. My boss told me. I'm trying to keep it. It's frustrating to feel like I'm being taken advantage of and there's nothing I can do about it. And on top of that, nobody cares. I suppose it's true; no one gives a crap about layoffs until it's happening to them. Friendships don't matter. Fairness doesn't matter. As long as they keep their jobs, mine is inconsequential. So I'm back to being nothing more than a broke student with no health insurance. All my hard work for nothing. Get an education, my dad says. Then you'll get a good job, he says. Bullshit. I should've just shot out some babies and gotten fat while waiting tables at a local truck stop. Education has proved to be worthless, which is obvious, since the state doesn't think it is worth spending money on. Which is why I'm in the mess anyway. Maybe Arnold and my dad should have a talk.

I sat and watched some TV tonight and it didn't take long for me to be bummed because everyone on tv gets laid and I don't. My roommate even got some action last night. I go camping for an entire weekend and the hot boy sleeps with the cougar next door. Great. She's a slut. I'm hot. She wins. And now I don't want him anymore. Still, it's lame that there's no one out there to make out with.

So Blech. That's basically how my life is going right now. Blech.