Secrets and Lies

Not everything in here is true, but it is based on real events.

Name:
Location: Southern California

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Hangin' Tough

I went to the opera today. It was really good. The boy was in it, and even though he was on stage in a costume, I'm still able to pick him out of the crowd. And I realized how much I miss him. I haven't seen him since Mardi Gras, and I've talked to him on the phone twice since then. All because of the homely girl he decided to hang out with when he could do so much better. I had a dream last night that he wanted to be with me. Is that an omen, or just wishful thinking? I have been looking outside of that, mostly because I'm tired of feeling like the red-headed stepchild, because I really do know that I'm cool enough for someone to treat me like I'm important. It's just hard when it's not the person you want it to be. And maybe at some point he will, but I don't have the time or patience for maybe. I'm about to graduate, and it feels like good things are coming my way, and all I have to do is sit back and let them. And hopefully some companionship is going to be part of that equation. I'm trying so hard to be strong and stick up for myself, but tonight made me remember what it feels like to be around him, even though I only saw him from far away.

I met a guy in a bar last week, and maybe at some point I'll hang out with him again. I met another guy online and maybe at some point I will meet him, but that all remains to be seen.

Anyway, I'm struggling, but so far I'm hangin' tough (like the New Kids on the Block).