Interest

I like saving money. Lots of people do. So I check the balance on my savings account every day, to see the pennies it has earned. I fantasize about a day when the interest in my account will actually be lots of money. I try as hard as I can to never withdraw money from it, so I can see it grow faster and faster. I might hit forty dollars this month. It's exciting. Except that it will soon be less since France is not cheap. But the interest will at least buy a bottle of wine while I'm there. And a nice bottle at that.

So I'm interested in interest. It's silly. And in a funny kind of way, I'm also jealous of my own account. It will guarantee a certain percentage of interest, no matter what. It doesn't have to be interesting or tell jokes or be attractive or anything. All it has to do is sit there quietly and do what it does. Earn interest.

I try. And earning interest seems to be extremely difficult for me. I actually blend in enough that I can garner zero interest. Like that crappy IRA. It only loses. I hate it. But I have faith that it will eventually be interesting. Maybe that's me. Maybe the people that check on me from time to time are just checking to see if I'm interesting yet. And of course, I'm not. I'm losing. I am a junk bond. One of those dot coms that a person thought was just going to skyrocket forever until it tanked. And yes, I'm tanked. In so many ways. I'm not a performing fund. Because I can't earn interest.