Inlovement? Involvement?

It sucks being in love. It sucks being in love with someone who isn't in love with you. It sucks being in love with someone who only wants to be your friend. Every day, I am reminded of where I fit into his life. And where I don't. Where he has moved on without me. It makes me feel sad. I don't know what to do anymore.

Is it better to be re-heartbroken every day? Is it better to shun the company of the only person who seems to even remotely understand? It's an utterly confusing circumstance. I sit and listen to things that are so normal. Yoga. Movies. Showers and ibuprofen. It shouldn't matter. But for some reason, it does. I feel left out. I feel excluded. At the same time, I know that's ridiculous. I'm not left out. I'm not excluded.

I just know that there's this part of his life that doesn't involve me in any way, shape, or form. It makes me sad. Because I always want to feel involved and included. And there's nothing I can do to control any of it. Because I'm in love and there's no control when that's involved. so my involvement makes me feel uninvolved. And my love makes me feel unloved.