Every Day a Little Death

It is difficult. I don't want to see the world today. But it appears I have no choice. The world has taken away my freedom. I am a prisoner; trapped inside decorum and responsibility. My trip to France is finished; all the arrangements are set. I should feel something; hope perhaps, but I don't. I am filled with nothing. Not even a sense of accomplishment for making so many arrangements all by myself. My heart is just not in it. It is nothing more than a cerebral exercise.

I realized today that my heart is so much smarter than I am. It knows things my brain refuses to see. It is broken. It will never be repaired. And not only that, I awake every day with some new hope that today things will be different. And every new day is the same as the previous day. Every day my heart is rebroken. To quote Sondheim: "Every Day a Little Death".