My Trajectory

Today I didn't go to class. Mostly because I just didn't feel like it. Partly because I feel like the prof doesn't like me any more since I have forsaken music for film. Whatever. I went to da beach instead. I even got invited to go to my favorite beach instead of Vista De La Playa De La Something (which is still not bad).

I'm glad we made up, but even more than that, I'm thankful to be able to talk things through when we are upset with each other. It's so much better than other alternatives. Part of me wants to call him now and ask him to dinner, but I know I shouldn't. And everyone else I know is not answering the phone, so I may just be forced to go alone. But I can do it.

We laid on the beach today and had what seemed like lots of stuff to talk about. And we can even joke about our quarrels. But the truth is that I can't shake him out of my heart like the sand shakes out of my blanket. I'm sitting there, wishing he would look at me like someone that he wants to be with. The way he used to. I can almost hear it already, I'm willing for it so hard.

We watched the kids on the beach, and they are obnoxiously young. He is rapt. I am mildly annoyed. I look at the boys playing football, wearing trunks that advertise cheap beer, and I know that I will be single for the rest of my life. Because these boys don't ever really grow up. They stay this way forever. And I will stay this way forever. Men and I are like two parallel lines; we will never intersect. My trajectory has already be set, and nothing is going to change its course.