Preliminary Depression

So tonight I've had a little bit of a chance to catch up, but mostly on school work. Tomorrow morning I fly to Napa. Alone. For a wedding. I spent a good half hour printing out directions to my hotel, to the rehearsal dinner, to the church, and so on. I'm fully expecting it to be a good trip, but at the same time, I'm being forced to brace myself for a weekend of depressing situations. I saw an RSVP list for the rehearsal dinner and realized that I'm literally the only person who didn't add a plus one. Awesome. I'll be that odd person out that knows no one except the bride and groom, who will be too busy to actually talk to me, so I'll be standing on the periphery with a cocktail, wishing the whole things was over. Add to that a similar situation at the wedding the following day, then a day of wine tasting solo, and there you have it. My life in a nutshell. I can't even find someone to take me to the airport in the morning. I'm getting to a point in my life where I really hate weddings. I used to like them. Now they are a hassle filled with opportunities for me to feel lonely and bad about myself because I am perpetually and terminally alone. So here I go again. Traveling alone was so much easier when I didn't have to watch other people being together and only had to watch films.

So there you go. I'm in the preliminary depression stage. I can only expect it to get worse over the next 3 days. I'll talk to you Monday, if I haven't slit my wrists by then.