People Like Me
I'm trying to make sure I have a well-rounded life. Sometimes I am thwarted. Basically, I have my movie life, where I live and breathe movies. And that's the part of my life that I can more or less control, and where I know exactly what I am doing. The rest of my life, not so much.
I decided I needed to get in shape. Lose 5 pounds. So I started eating better and working out. I started going to these classes for aerial silks. They are lots of fun, but expensive. I bought 5 at a serious discount, and the 5 are up as of today. But even though I don't want to stop going, my body isn't so cooperative. As I may have mentioned previously, my knee has been giving me trouble. And as the things they teach us get harder, my body whines a little more. Now I have some fingers that really hurt (kind of feels like I jammed them, even though I didn't), probably from gripping the fabric so tightly. I also have giant bruises around my ankles that really hurt (I can't explain why they're there; you'd just have to see the tricks to know how they got there). There's also some bruises on my arms, probably from being pinched by the fabric. I've been considering taking dance classes, but again, cost is a serious issue there as well. But at least I wouldn't have bruises (most likely). So the whole get in shape concept has proven to be a bit...well...problematic.
The other part of my life should be the social part, and that's basically non-existent. Every now and then a friend will want to hang out with me, but for the most part, no one bothers with me. I just use Facebook to pretend that I matter to people. I rarely leave the house, and the only people I normally speak with on the phone are talking about the movie. And of course, the boy is a constant source of trouble, stress, frustration, and all sorts of other emotions that drive me nuts on a regular basis. And I'm having a difficult time regulating what's going on in that sphere, which is doubly frustrating.
Then there's the family. Don't get me wrong, my mom is awesome. She's been ridiculously supportive of what I'm doing, and she's buying a fricking house that I'll be living in by my next birthday. If only the rest of them were even half as supportive. My sister, who calls about twice a year (if that) called the evening I was holding auditions, so I couldn't answer the phone. I called her back a few days later, and had an awkward conversation with her. Basically, I learned that the only reason she called was to brag about her kid. So we spent about 25 minutes talking about her kid and how great she is (although she really is great; practically perfect. Seriously), and about 5 minutes talking about what's going on in my life. How's that for being involved?
Anyway, I wish I could manage to make my life balanced. So far I haven't been able to do a very good job. Maybe balance is impossible for people like me. People who don't know how to manage relationships with other people.
I decided I needed to get in shape. Lose 5 pounds. So I started eating better and working out. I started going to these classes for aerial silks. They are lots of fun, but expensive. I bought 5 at a serious discount, and the 5 are up as of today. But even though I don't want to stop going, my body isn't so cooperative. As I may have mentioned previously, my knee has been giving me trouble. And as the things they teach us get harder, my body whines a little more. Now I have some fingers that really hurt (kind of feels like I jammed them, even though I didn't), probably from gripping the fabric so tightly. I also have giant bruises around my ankles that really hurt (I can't explain why they're there; you'd just have to see the tricks to know how they got there). There's also some bruises on my arms, probably from being pinched by the fabric. I've been considering taking dance classes, but again, cost is a serious issue there as well. But at least I wouldn't have bruises (most likely). So the whole get in shape concept has proven to be a bit...well...problematic.
The other part of my life should be the social part, and that's basically non-existent. Every now and then a friend will want to hang out with me, but for the most part, no one bothers with me. I just use Facebook to pretend that I matter to people. I rarely leave the house, and the only people I normally speak with on the phone are talking about the movie. And of course, the boy is a constant source of trouble, stress, frustration, and all sorts of other emotions that drive me nuts on a regular basis. And I'm having a difficult time regulating what's going on in that sphere, which is doubly frustrating.
Then there's the family. Don't get me wrong, my mom is awesome. She's been ridiculously supportive of what I'm doing, and she's buying a fricking house that I'll be living in by my next birthday. If only the rest of them were even half as supportive. My sister, who calls about twice a year (if that) called the evening I was holding auditions, so I couldn't answer the phone. I called her back a few days later, and had an awkward conversation with her. Basically, I learned that the only reason she called was to brag about her kid. So we spent about 25 minutes talking about her kid and how great she is (although she really is great; practically perfect. Seriously), and about 5 minutes talking about what's going on in my life. How's that for being involved?
Anyway, I wish I could manage to make my life balanced. So far I haven't been able to do a very good job. Maybe balance is impossible for people like me. People who don't know how to manage relationships with other people.
posted by Ocean | 11:07 PM
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