I'm sitting at home on the couch. Like always. I tried to get some of the clutter out of my living room. Now it's in the 2nd bedroom. I realized I also need to finish putting my paintings up. I stopped halfway through, and you can tell as soon as you walk into the house. I need to get it all into place since I'm going to be spending lots of time here not going out with boys. I just need to leave the country and meet a hot foreign boy. Oh wait, I will be.

I've tried to train myself to focus on all the things that are great in my life, and I've kind of gotten good at it. I'm educated. I live in a great place, where most people would love to live. I have a job that I really like, and will be going to Cuba on a business trip. I have a great apartment where I live by myself. I'm close to finishing my last degree.

And then I see the downside. I'm up to my eyeballs in student loan debt. I don't have any friends that are there for me no matter what. My family is generally indifferent to everything I do. My job is only part-time and narrowly pays me enough just to live. I have doubts about my talents. But worst of all is that I'm always alone. No one is there to share everything with. There is no one I can depend on. Whatever is good in my life is pointless. Because no one cares.