Mama's Boys

So I hung out with the boy today (the young one) before he went to work. His idea. No drinking; he said his liver needed a rest. So I was completely sober and hanging out and he's still okay. He uses words like incorrigible and extraordinary in regular conversation. Who does that? English majors, that's who. I, on the other hand, used the term 'kickin it'. It's not that I don't know big words, it's just that I learned a long time ago that using them in everyday situations doesn't tend to attract people. Of either sex. They start thinking you're pompous and full of yourself and don't want to talk to you. Idiomatic language is much more comfortable. Even if it's incorrect. Although I still refuse to utter the word 'addicting', unless I'm using it as a gerund. That's right, I said gerund. I'm just as pretentious as the best of them.

Anyway, back to the boy. So he knows he has to go to work, and waits till about 30 minutes before he has to leave to start making out, then gets frustrated when we don't have sex. He thinks I'm having some sort of thoughts. I guess I am, but not the thoughts he thinks. I'm thinking: he has to go to work soon, we better not get too far into this because I'd really like it if our first time wasn't a cheap race against the clock quickie. I want to have plenty of time to really see what happens and then not have him race out the door as soon as it's over. There's plenty of time for that later. It has also occurred to me recently that he probably thinks I'm a lot more umm...sexually forward than I really am because I'm older and very bossy in real life. Not so, dear boy. I'm still as demure and mysteriously ambivalent as any practicing catholic girl. But guilt isn't my problem. Relationships are my problem. How weird is it to enter into a relationship with someone that you are 99% sure will never in a million years amount to anything? Liking him is not the problem, life is. He's going to end up in a good grad school, and I'll still be doing whatever it is I do to stay afloat.

Today he casually mentioned that his parents were in college during the 80's, and the first thing that popped into my head was that I am closer to their age than his. I wonder how they would feel about their precious snowflake dating his (former) teacher who happens to be 13 years older than he is. They wouldn't even let him eat school lunch as a kid, I can't imagine they'd be cool with me twisting his little brain.

Oh, and then there's the other dude. The one I haven't been able to shake for four years. Being around this guy is the closest I've ever come. I wish he'd been around 6 months ago. I don't think about the other guy when he's around, but when I'm alone it still happens. And now I have to make that conscious choice that will prevent me from being a cheater. Or at the very least some kind of ho. Maybe that's the point of all this. I shack up with a young buck for a few months so I can forget about the impossible relationship and finally move on for real.

Just please, no mama's boys. I've had my fill of those.