Special

There's not much left to say. My life is like a long Charlie Brown cartoon. Especially the part where Chuck tries to kick the football. And yet for some reason I keep thinking this time will be different. Things are different this time. Things have changed. But they haven't. I'm supposed to have things going for me, and no matter what happens, it doesn't turn out that way.

Add one more to the list. The list of guys that think I'm super fun and super cool and don't want anything 'too serious'. Which translates to "I want to keep you in the book as a booty call and nothing more". Gee thanks. It's such a non-exclusive club. It consists of, um, let's see...well, everybody. What's the deal? Do I have SUCKER tattooed across my forehead? It's so ridiculous that this keeps happening. Even the rules of statistics would say that at some point someone would be different. But they're all the same. It's almost to the point where I expect it, so I don't try very hard to maintain any sort of mystique. It seems easier to speed things along so I don't devote too much time to someone who is going to split anyway. Because they all do.

I've seen this thing going around FB where your 'friends' describe you in one word. That's easy. Abandoned. By everyone. It's not like I have anyone to help me through the tough times either, so I'm guessing the universe is engaging in an all around fuck you campaign against me. No one calls to see how I'm doing, no one calls to ask me to do things with them, no one is interested in what I'm doing. So the guys are using me for sex and those that aren't sleeping with me have no use for me. Awesome. Thanks, everybody. You've succeeded in making me feel super special.