Monster

I am not a monster. I'm just a person. And I do human things. I fall in love, get trampled, make bad decisions, and want to strangle people that are my friends. I'm getting close to planning an intervention for a friend who has some sort of phobia that is akin to alcoholism, and she's taking me and several others down with her. I am not a doctor, and she needs professional help that I cannot provide.

I don't have the emotional stability myself to deal with constantly wondering if she's ok, because when it comes right down to it, I'm not even ok. I'm a wreck. And while she has people to take care of her, I don't. No one is here to hug me and say everything is going to be ok, and yes, I need that. But I live in a hermetically sealed universe where no one is overly concerned with what is going on in my life, no one calls just to see if I'm feeling ok, and no one is providing a shoulder for me to cry on. I don't remember the last time anyone even touched me or gave me a hug. I am cut off from every other human emotionally AND physically. I am alone in this town. When do I get to talk about MY problems? When does someone listen to ME? When does someone put ME first instead of thinking about their own stuff? When are my feelings going to be important?

I may feel like a monster sometimes, but I still have feelings. Even if no one around me cares about them.