Stupid Life

Sometimes life just dogpiles on top of you and there's no way out of it. There is no pacing, no sense of 'when you're ready', no mercy. And this is no exception. My house is in a state of chaos, with random people coming and going at random times, ripping things up and putting them back in a different place. My car has fallen apart, and I'm now haggling with the repair guy to try to figure out how things got so fucked up and so expensive. My body has retaliated, giving me a disease I have been fighting for a few days now, stuffing up my ears so that my already questionable listening skills are even further thrwarted.

How does this happen? I've been forced to call in all of my favors in the span of two days from friends who would probably prefer I keep to myself more than I do. I am unwillingly annoying, because I would like to be able to stay out of everyone's way, but with no house, no health, and no transportation, it makes things a bit difficult. I don't like being a burden. And I know that I am. I hate it. I feel like a jerk. I feel helpless. It sucks like nothing else.

One thing at a time would be preferable, as I might be able to handle things a bit more independently and a bit more gracefully. But this is not the life I planned for anyway, so it just figures that it would do things in the most damaging way possible. Stupid life.