Frustration
I'm frustrated. With everything and everyone. And it pretty much started yesterday and lasted into today. I found out last night that the construction guys were coming early this morning, which was tres inconvenient for moi. It just figures that they wouldn't be able to come on a day that is actually convenient, because the next day they are scheduled to grace me with their presence is also inconvenient. If only I was rich and could stay at a fancy hotel instead.
I'm frustrated with people that I feel aren't listening to me. Which is most people right now. And they twist everything I say and do around so that I am always in the wrong and there's nothing I can do about it. I can be a little slow sometimes when people say things to me, so it might be two days later before I have an actual reaction to something someone says. But by then it's too late and there's no point in mentioning it because I will be wrong on two counts; whatever I say will be wrong, and the fact that I brought it up will be wrong. I can't win. If only two wrongs did make a right.
There are things that I will never ever ever understand about my life and my emotions, and there are things that I will never be able to control or change no matter how much I want to. These are the things that will continue to affect the way I do things and the decisions I make in my life. It is frustrating to see your life crumbling before your very eyes, time after time, and not be able to do a damn thing about it. It is frustrating to watch yourself fuck up repeatedly, as if there really is no such thing as free will and you are destined to be loser forever, no matter how hard you try not to be.
Because you will never finish the things you start, no matter how close you get to finishing them, people will always abandon you at the exact moment you think they will be there with you forever, and just when you start to get comfortable, you will be cast out onto the street with all the other riff-raff. In short, nothing and no one is dependable. That is an adjective that should be reserved for cars and kitchen appliances.
I'm frustrated with people that I feel aren't listening to me. Which is most people right now. And they twist everything I say and do around so that I am always in the wrong and there's nothing I can do about it. I can be a little slow sometimes when people say things to me, so it might be two days later before I have an actual reaction to something someone says. But by then it's too late and there's no point in mentioning it because I will be wrong on two counts; whatever I say will be wrong, and the fact that I brought it up will be wrong. I can't win. If only two wrongs did make a right.
There are things that I will never ever ever understand about my life and my emotions, and there are things that I will never be able to control or change no matter how much I want to. These are the things that will continue to affect the way I do things and the decisions I make in my life. It is frustrating to see your life crumbling before your very eyes, time after time, and not be able to do a damn thing about it. It is frustrating to watch yourself fuck up repeatedly, as if there really is no such thing as free will and you are destined to be loser forever, no matter how hard you try not to be.
Because you will never finish the things you start, no matter how close you get to finishing them, people will always abandon you at the exact moment you think they will be there with you forever, and just when you start to get comfortable, you will be cast out onto the street with all the other riff-raff. In short, nothing and no one is dependable. That is an adjective that should be reserved for cars and kitchen appliances.
posted by Ocean | 10:30 PM
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