Judging

For the past couple of days, I have been incredibly irritated with the woman I live with. She is my roommate, and I would consider her my friend on most days. But lately, she has turned judgemental and bitter, saying things in my general direction that are not designed to be friendly. I'm thinking I need to move. Because abscence makes the heart grow fonder and she obviously doesn't know how lucky she is to have me as a roommate.

I am tired of being judged because I don't do what she does and because she judges her life with a completely different yardstick than she judges mine. Not that it's any of her business to start with, but whatever. She has come to start bitching that I don't clean the house for her and do the dishes or clean the garage while she's out of town. She also disapproves of my friends, from my fun crazy girlfriend to my sensitive heart-breaking ex. She, of course, professes she would never digress into hanging out with someone who doesn't treat her like a queen, but we all know what a lie that is. Her ex is someone she sees every Tuesday. Not that she would ever admit that. But whatever.

I'm tired of being ridiculed in front of other people. That's a feeling I went through in high school and gave up in college. She's reviving it for everyone to see. Because nothing I ever do, say, or wear is ever right. I am always wrong. I don't do things the way she wants. So she makes fun of me and gives me looks and rolls her eyes. When did I become such an embarrassment? I've lived here for well over a year and she's just now starting to think maybe I'm not cool? What's up with that????

P.S. I don't think she's that cool. Yes, she's my friend, which is why I never tell her she's doing things wrong or making bad decisions or preach or bitch. I accept her for who she is. I don't judge the guys she "dates". I don't even judge the guys she doesn't date. I don't judge friends, acquaintances, family, co-workers, or any other people that come into her life. But I am not afforded the same courtesies. She's not the Homecoming Queen, or Ms. Manners, or Dear Abby, so of course she screws up sometimes. But she would never let anyone know that, and I would get dirty nasty die looks if I ever brought it up.

I need to move. Just for distance. So there's no one in my business all the time. So I can live my life the way I want without sermons. I never thought it would come to this, but its getting there fast.