Yoga

I went to yoga today. Right now the thought of lifting my arms up to any height seems impossible. It will probably be worse tomorrow. I'm glad I went, though. I got a good sweat on. And I'm usually lazy, so it's a good change.

Speaking to lazy, there's a bunch of stuff I should be doing in this time I'm not working that I'm not doing. And it's not hard stuff. It's fun stuff. I should be watching the movies Netflix keeps sending me. I should be reading those short stories I love. I should be writing stuff that will eventually end up in one of my dopey movies. I should be writing cover letters and re-reading other books that I want to remember. I should be studying art and theater and other generally enjoyable stuff.

But I'm not. Laziness is a drug. You don't do one thing, and then another, and another, until you are doing nothing at all. I'm not proud that I watched over half of Police Academy on HBO the other day. What a waste of time. I've already seen it (although it WAS interesting to see Kim Catrall 20 years ago). So that's my current MO. Wasting time on the internet, watching bad tv, and doing other stuff I've never been interested in, like cooking and gardening. It's weird, that I don't feel like doing the stuff that I always complain about not having the time to do.

Actually, I'm lying just a little bit. I have done these things, just not as much as I want to or should. I shouldn't have time to watch bad TV because I'm too busy doing those other things. But I guess you discover things when you watch a lot of TV. I've become a regular Jeopardy! watcher. (Sad, but true, and I love that show!). I keep telling myself, tomorrow I'll do better. And then I do the same crap I did the day before. I suppose I'm not that upset about it. I just wish I was more of a doer than a put-off-er.

Which is why I'm glad I went to yoga. I got off my duff and did something productive. Something healthy. Something I will definitely remember tomorrow.

The last time I went was three weeks ago. And I was in a completely different state then. A distraught, stressed-out state that sort of broke through the boundary of my skull that day when I decided I had to talk to someone. Today I was in a completely different place, both physically and mentally. I was in the flow of things. Last time I was just trying to get from one minute to the next. And today my body was agreeing with me. Last time it was fighting me every step of the way. Making me feel like I was tearing it apart from the inside out.

One of my favorite sayings has always been What a difference a day makes. And what a difference. Then: bad. Now: better. Yesterday: Cloudy. Today: Clear. And there was yoga.