Subconscious Men

This morning I had a strange and vivid dream. I was making out with a guy, but not a real guy, like one from real life. It was just some man my subconscious created. I have no idea what he looked like, but I remember what his face felt like and how he kissed. He was a good kisser. I liked kissing him. A lot. And everything seemed to be going fine with the whole kissing, making out thing, when he stops and says "Will you go down on me now? I will if you will." At this point, I got irritated, stopped kissing him, and woke up. Bastard.

For any guy who doesn't know, it's really annoying when you ask for oral sex. I know, you're supposed to ask for what you want, but at certain points in a physical relationship (namely, the beginning), it's just not appropriate to ask for anything. You're lucky I'm willing to be seen with you. Even if you are some random dude living in my subconscious. If you ask for it, then it seems like I'm only doing it because you asked me to and not because I really wanted to. That's lame. And, it just reinforces the behavior so you'll keep asking me all the time. And the I will if you will crap is annoying too. That's the kind of thing I would never ask for because I want you to do it because it was your idea and you want to, not because I told you to. And vice versa.

I like such activities. It makes me happy to make someone I care about happy. But I want to think of it myself and do it when I want to. If I wanted to throw you a party, it would kind of ruin it if you asked me to, wouldn't it? So anyway, stupid subconscious man that's a good kisser, rest assured that you are part of the reason I'm not down for dating anyone. Because guys are idiots. Even the ones I created.