Normal

Ok, I'm finally starting to feel mostly normal in most departments. Still not working, so that's a bit stressful, but I'll figure something out. I don't have a savings account for nothing. I feel pretty much ok, except for some soreness in my gut as a result of making myself exercise for once. The sensitivity is gone from my body finally. I was beginning to think it would feel that way forever.

So I guess things are more or less back to normal. If that ever really existed in the first place. I'm trying to remember what I felt like when I came back from my trip because that was me at a content state. I suppose I'm still content, but I'm lonely and content. Sometimes I wish I had a dog or a cat to keep me company. But not that often.

The sun is shining outside and I really want it to extend all the way out to the beach. It's been yucky there lately. I'm tired of it, because I really like it there. Home away from home. A friend called me last night and was excited to see me and I was glad because I'm around the same people all the time. But really, I guess there are people that are happy to see me, I just haven't seen a lot of them lately.

I had a dream last night that I moved home all of a sudden and begged then middle school art teacher to let me take a class from him. And everyone was happy to see me and didn't want me to ever leave again. And wondered why I left in the first place. It was strange, since I was never that popular in school, and that would never happen in real life. But it was still nice to be missed and feel like I belonged somewhere where people were excited to see me. And I had no real intentions of staying. So anyway, I guess the moral is that I really don't want to be around anyone who likes me? Whatever, I'm fucked up. Not normal.