Pygmy Me

I'm on my way to see a lonely movie alone, while a lonely goat bleats in my yard. Poor little pygmy. I've been left today thinking about how important bullshit seems until something else comes along that makes you realize how stupid you are.

Yesterday I was struck with this feeling that the friendship I'm trying to sustain is doomed. Mainly because I'm psycho, but also because I'm too starved for attention for him to go on feeding me. The well has run dry. I can't be who he wants me to be because he's not what I want him to be.

Every time I think I see a little ray of hope, my heart skips a beat. But then I read and re-read and realize that the words have nothing to do with me. They are for someone else. There is no pining for me. And now I've even been replaced by strange but (of course) beautiful women on the beach. I'm not even attractive anymore. I don't get stares. He leaves it to other people to tell me how I look. Maybe it doesn't even matter to him anymore. I could almost be invisible, if I weren't such a pain in the ass.

So I'm a less noticeable version of what I used to be. Not attractive anymore. Sometimes entertaining. Sometimes annoying-Especially when my hearing is not so good. I thought there was distance, but perhaps I was wrong. Maybe it's just that I'm overlooked. Looked over. Because the fitness club is right behind me and I'm too little to be in the sightlines. Pygmy me.