Scrooge
I started thinking today about what a Scrooge I am. I hate the holiday season. I don't like Christmas shopping and I don't like egg nog and I don't like Chistmas parties or secret santa exchanges or sending cards or any of that other stuff. About the only thing I like is all the shiny and furry stuff you see this time of year. It's like the whole country goes Vegas style for 2 months.
I didn't used to be this way. I used to look forward to giving gifts and seeing family and friends and yes, even shopping. I used to plan for Christmas during July. And now I'm totally in favor of abolishing the holiday(s) forever. They only bring bad things.
Like work. And holiday "cheer" that isn't real. And uptight people on the road and in the mall. And fake family togetherness. I've come to dread seeing my family during the holidays, because of all the people that should like me for who I am, they are the furthest from it. They treat me like a two-headed dog. Not normal enough.
And I'm tired of seeing all the things that remind me that I'm alone and holidays are really meant for people who have someone. I'm tired of the jewelry commercials, and the 'what to get for that special someone' ads, and the bring a date to the party crap. It's like being single is a crime this time of year. Not that it's what I want. Far from it. But I don't have a choice in the matter. So instead I have to suffer through the nauseating phoniness that pretty much everyone engages in.
I had to go shopping with a friend yesterday so he could get something for his true love and get the female perspective. While he is a dear and trusted friend with good intentions, I couldn't help but inwardly lament that no one is concerned about pleasing me with something fabulous right now. And knowing I have no one to please anyway. So I can only worry about myself. This time it's all about what I want. Because I'm not on the list of what others want this year. Or any year. Or maybe never.
So I say fuck Christmas. Fuck presents. Fuck cheer. I am going to stay in bed where I don't have to be subjected to such torture.
I didn't used to be this way. I used to look forward to giving gifts and seeing family and friends and yes, even shopping. I used to plan for Christmas during July. And now I'm totally in favor of abolishing the holiday(s) forever. They only bring bad things.
Like work. And holiday "cheer" that isn't real. And uptight people on the road and in the mall. And fake family togetherness. I've come to dread seeing my family during the holidays, because of all the people that should like me for who I am, they are the furthest from it. They treat me like a two-headed dog. Not normal enough.
And I'm tired of seeing all the things that remind me that I'm alone and holidays are really meant for people who have someone. I'm tired of the jewelry commercials, and the 'what to get for that special someone' ads, and the bring a date to the party crap. It's like being single is a crime this time of year. Not that it's what I want. Far from it. But I don't have a choice in the matter. So instead I have to suffer through the nauseating phoniness that pretty much everyone engages in.
I had to go shopping with a friend yesterday so he could get something for his true love and get the female perspective. While he is a dear and trusted friend with good intentions, I couldn't help but inwardly lament that no one is concerned about pleasing me with something fabulous right now. And knowing I have no one to please anyway. So I can only worry about myself. This time it's all about what I want. Because I'm not on the list of what others want this year. Or any year. Or maybe never.
So I say fuck Christmas. Fuck presents. Fuck cheer. I am going to stay in bed where I don't have to be subjected to such torture.
posted by Ocean | 1:14 PM
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