Carl's Jr.
I think it's time for a rant. I haven't indulged in one for a while
I hate Carl's Jr. I think I've eaten at one exactly once in my life, when I had just gotten off a red-eye in Los Angeles, and it was about 2 in the morning. I was with someone who used to be my friend (we've since lost touch) and my brother came to see us. I hadn't seen him in quite a while. Anyway, that's about all I remember about the meal. Being tired.
But I don't hate them for their food. I hate them for their ad campaigns. I am completely grossed out every time I see their ads featuring skinny, often scantily clad women devouring a giant burger, salad, taco, or something oozing some sort of disgusting looking sauce. It makes my stomach turn. There are some people who believe that the messier a food is, the better it tastes. Wrong. Think goulash. Think sloppy joes. Not even a fork will save you. Unless you stab yourself in the neck, that is.
But I recently saw the ad that pushed me over the edge. I endured the one of the chick in the gold bikini with giant tits smearing a burger bigger than her tits all over her face and lapping her tongue against a dangling pineapple while some sort of gross looking beef juice ran down her chin. I'm sure the "actress" enjoyed mixing beef juice and sand.
I bristled at the one of the trucker chick devouring food like a vulture in the cab of an 18 wheeler, as if her 95 pounds couldn't possibly go another second without eating, and dangerously compromising the structural integrity of her tiny, tight jeans. But she had messy hair so she may have been a tranny. So I let it slide.
But the most recent one is just plain stupid and I have to say, I took offense to it when I saw it. A girl is laying on her bed, wearing a negligee, eating a salad WITH HER HANDS. Who does that? I'll tell you: nobody. Unless you are 3, you don't eat salads with your hands. It's not interesting, it's not sexy, it's just gross. I don't want oily salad dressing running down my fingers, do you? I thought not. And neither does that sex pot who is eagerly waiting for you to come home. And even if you have some crack whore eating with her hands because you were too cheap to buy her a fucking fork, she's not going to eat it in bed. Crouton crumbs, anyone? Yeah, those are really sexy when they're grinding into your backside. Almost sexy as the oil spots she left by wiping her salad dressing drenched hands on the sheets. Gross.
So yes, I hate you, Carl's Jr. Maybe your food is good. I don't know. But your commercials turn my stomach and make me want to puke if that's the sort of person who is eating it. Seriously, get with the friggin program.
I hate Carl's Jr. I think I've eaten at one exactly once in my life, when I had just gotten off a red-eye in Los Angeles, and it was about 2 in the morning. I was with someone who used to be my friend (we've since lost touch) and my brother came to see us. I hadn't seen him in quite a while. Anyway, that's about all I remember about the meal. Being tired.
But I don't hate them for their food. I hate them for their ad campaigns. I am completely grossed out every time I see their ads featuring skinny, often scantily clad women devouring a giant burger, salad, taco, or something oozing some sort of disgusting looking sauce. It makes my stomach turn. There are some people who believe that the messier a food is, the better it tastes. Wrong. Think goulash. Think sloppy joes. Not even a fork will save you. Unless you stab yourself in the neck, that is.
But I recently saw the ad that pushed me over the edge. I endured the one of the chick in the gold bikini with giant tits smearing a burger bigger than her tits all over her face and lapping her tongue against a dangling pineapple while some sort of gross looking beef juice ran down her chin. I'm sure the "actress" enjoyed mixing beef juice and sand.
I bristled at the one of the trucker chick devouring food like a vulture in the cab of an 18 wheeler, as if her 95 pounds couldn't possibly go another second without eating, and dangerously compromising the structural integrity of her tiny, tight jeans. But she had messy hair so she may have been a tranny. So I let it slide.
But the most recent one is just plain stupid and I have to say, I took offense to it when I saw it. A girl is laying on her bed, wearing a negligee, eating a salad WITH HER HANDS. Who does that? I'll tell you: nobody. Unless you are 3, you don't eat salads with your hands. It's not interesting, it's not sexy, it's just gross. I don't want oily salad dressing running down my fingers, do you? I thought not. And neither does that sex pot who is eagerly waiting for you to come home. And even if you have some crack whore eating with her hands because you were too cheap to buy her a fucking fork, she's not going to eat it in bed. Crouton crumbs, anyone? Yeah, those are really sexy when they're grinding into your backside. Almost sexy as the oil spots she left by wiping her salad dressing drenched hands on the sheets. Gross.
So yes, I hate you, Carl's Jr. Maybe your food is good. I don't know. But your commercials turn my stomach and make me want to puke if that's the sort of person who is eating it. Seriously, get with the friggin program.
posted by Ocean | 12:35 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home