Dreams and Nightmares
I woke up this morning still tired, and still creeped out by a strange dream I had. It was also a sad one involving my favorite person, who was ignoring me and talking to everyone else except me, making me pretend I was interested in watching Pinnochio when I just wanted to be noticed by him. It made me feel yucky when I woke up.
And then there's the house. The lack of peace, the lack of privacy, and the abundance of hassle and annoyance. And the workers are gone. They were so much quieter and more polite than my roommate is. Sure, come into my bedroom without knocking, I'm not important. I don't care. I'm not doing anything that might require my door to stay closed. Good thing I'm still in my pj's and not getting dressed. The courtesy for my personal space has been forgotten since I lost my shit last week. Part of me wants to lose it again (my teeth were grinding together earlier), but I'm really just too tired. She wore me down to the point where I don't really care what she does, and I'm also to the point that if I ruin any of her new construction before it can be sealed, painted, sanded or installed, I really don't care. She kind of deserves it at this point. All I want is a little consideration. A knock on the door, a warning, something that makes me think you're concerned with my comfort as you tear the house apart.
Also, I'm not in bed because I'm lazy, I'm in bed because I'm tired. Deal with it. Get over it. And don't fucking mention what time I get up to me one more time or else I'm going to start being loud when YOU are asleep and then we'll see who's lazy.
This turned into a rant on accident.
But I'm starving on this diet and I seriously need to lose these pesky 10 pounds from my gut and ass before I really start looking middle aged. I'm not ready to look middle aged. Middle aged people don't get any. Because they look middle aged and no one wants them. I have enough trouble in that department when I look cute and young and thin. I don't need things to be more difficult than they already are. Man I'm depressed. This sucks.
And then there's the house. The lack of peace, the lack of privacy, and the abundance of hassle and annoyance. And the workers are gone. They were so much quieter and more polite than my roommate is. Sure, come into my bedroom without knocking, I'm not important. I don't care. I'm not doing anything that might require my door to stay closed. Good thing I'm still in my pj's and not getting dressed. The courtesy for my personal space has been forgotten since I lost my shit last week. Part of me wants to lose it again (my teeth were grinding together earlier), but I'm really just too tired. She wore me down to the point where I don't really care what she does, and I'm also to the point that if I ruin any of her new construction before it can be sealed, painted, sanded or installed, I really don't care. She kind of deserves it at this point. All I want is a little consideration. A knock on the door, a warning, something that makes me think you're concerned with my comfort as you tear the house apart.
Also, I'm not in bed because I'm lazy, I'm in bed because I'm tired. Deal with it. Get over it. And don't fucking mention what time I get up to me one more time or else I'm going to start being loud when YOU are asleep and then we'll see who's lazy.
This turned into a rant on accident.
But I'm starving on this diet and I seriously need to lose these pesky 10 pounds from my gut and ass before I really start looking middle aged. I'm not ready to look middle aged. Middle aged people don't get any. Because they look middle aged and no one wants them. I have enough trouble in that department when I look cute and young and thin. I don't need things to be more difficult than they already are. Man I'm depressed. This sucks.
posted by Ocean | 11:24 AM
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