End of Summer Tally

I've been playing a not so fun game with myself lately called how long till my phone rings. And so far, it hasn't. Silent. Good thing I got the best network in the country. At least if there wasn't service I'd have some sort of good excuse. So now I'm home and things don't look as rosy close up as I remember them and it makes me sad. I wish I was still gone, even though I was going crazy and broke at the same time.

School starts in ten days and I don't want to go. I am dreading being the dumbest girl in class that has no friends except for the ones that take pity on her. The one who has a phone and no one knows why. The one that can leave class right away because no student or professor would ever want to talk to her. About anything.

I guess sometimes I even look at myself and forget that I am still human. That I still have feelings and needs, even if I don't want them. And this summer has given me new fears that I never had before. Great, just what I need. And no new friends and maybe even less than I had before. So, at the end of the summer, my tally equals this: no money, no love, but new guilt, and new fears.