Starving Artist

I'm up early and ready to go. Just so I can sleep in my own bed. And watch my own TV. And stop eating for gods sake. I will lose those ten pounds if it's the last thing I do. I'm sick of being stared down by my gut.

I had a dream that someone I know tried to kiss me. Not someone I want to kiss in real life. It was weird. Mostly because in my dream I was almost ok with him kissing me. I was thinking about it today while washing my hair, and realized that I'm not kissed that often. I haven't made out without a guy in a long time. I'm a good kisser. I've been told as much. I like kissing. It's one of my favorite activities. But my mouth and tongue have been starving artists for a long time now. No passionate open mouth kisses, no tender pecks, no lingering lips. That's probably one of the worst things about being the ugly girl. I can always get myself off, but no matter how hard I try, I can't kiss myself.

Also dreamt that I missed work. Weird. Which means that the rest of me will continue being the starving artist as well.