Self-Help

Sometimes people really bother me. Sometimes these people are my friends. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. Sometimes they just bother me.

I have no idea why women like to sit around in a group and try to figure out what they've done wrong when it comes to men. The truth is, they already know what they've done wrong, if anything. They will read advice columns out loud, or advice books, and laugh or cry when they get to the part that is about them. Because like I already said, they already know if they screwed up. And they also already know that men are stupid idiots who say moronic things to try to sleep with as many women as possible. I don't know why women do this. In private, I understand. In a group, I don't get it. It just seems like a self-deprecating sessions where your friends can laugh at the idiosyncracies that live in your heart that make you do dumb things every now and then.

The other reason I don't like events like this is because I am not an advocate of man bashing. It's pointless. We know men are assholes, and actually, so do they. It's like the divorcee meeting of Jerry Maguire. It's stupid. A bunch of single women talking about how much men suck but also talking about why being single sucks. It's a double edged sword and there's no sense dwelling on it. Besides, if one grows to bash men on a regular basis, there's really not much hope for the end of singleton-hood.

Not that I don't think men need some improvement. I do have a theory that men are actually the missing link they've been looking for. They just haven't found it because all of the people looking for it are men. How could they find themselves? They could find the missing link if it were in their pants. However, like fishing and everything else, they would lie about how big the link actually is.

See? I can bash too. But I think of it like a parent might act towards a child (try not to think this is gross and creepy). If the child has potential, why not urge him to be the best he can be? Trust me, men can be better. Much better. They just don't care. They know that while they are out having beers with their buddies and swearing and slapping high fives every time they see a chick in a short skirt, the women that will want to date (i.e. sleep with) them are sitting at home planning a strategy to get them. They know they don't have to do any legwork. They can just be the stupid idiots they are and some woman some where will want them as the vile, insensitive jerk they are.

So I guess these are my parting thoughts: Ladies, don't bother. Don't bother trying to figure out how to be better for him, because he's not doing the same for you. Don't bother trying to pass judgement on him, his new girlfriend, or his buddies. Don't bother with strategies, games, or tests. Because it's pointless. Your heart will tell you what to do, and no matter how many self-help crackpot schemes you tune into, someone will always outwit you. Plus, your heart doesn't listen to self-help.