Daytime TV

I'm usually not watching TV at this time of day. But it's cloudy outside, I don't have any homework, and I'm depressed. I'm curled up in a quilt I made over ten years ago and I have two collections of short stories sitting next to me as soon as I feel like opening them. Daytime TV is terrible. Even on cable. I never knew there were so many advertisements for medications. Inhalers, athlete's foot, KY jelly, even pills that are supposed to "cure" the ringing in your ears. I have a decent understanding of tinnitus, and it is irreversible. There is no cure for it, so I'm skeptical of what these pills actually do.

Anyway, this day is dragging by. I have things I need to get to; things I need to take care of. But I have to wait until later. It is driving me crazy. I am usually a lot more patient than this. But I guess things aren't usually this urgent or this important. And this concerns things outside of me. And I work alone. Or at least I have so far.

I've never been a team player. I did gymnastics. I sucked at basketball. I was never good at sharing my blame with others or taking the blame of others. I'm normally an independent. And this isn't an independent situation. God I feel stupid. I feel like a Lifetime Movie. Tori Spelling could play me. And she could cry at the drop of the hat and it would be believable, but it wouldn't be like me. But I guess Lifetime doesn't make a living without melodrama and water works. Neither does daytime TV.