Hippo

I feel like a hippo. I can see my thighs undulating back and forth in a sea of fat similar to what you might see on a beached whale. Blubber. Where does it all come from? I'm sure the milkshake I had yesterday doesn't help much. Or the fries. Or the burger. Or the chocolates. God, I'm an eating machine. How does this happen?

When I was young and spry I was skinny. Now my thighs and belly could provide skiing entertainment to small animals. Is this what it will be like to get older? I don't wanna. Not that I ever did. I just realized I haven't gotten those books I ordered from Amazon quite a while ago. Stupid Amazon. They take forever.

I really wanted to go to the beach today, but it has been cloudy there for over a week now. This is supposed to be the middle of summer, and yet it's more like March. I'm Vitamin D deficient. And I need to sweat off some pounds real quick here. I suppose that laying in bed all day doesn't really make one feel too glamorous, but I don't really feel like doing much else. Even Happy Hour isn't calling to me. I'm hording my time like a squirrel collects nuts in September. Although I don't remember the last time I actually saw a squirrel, so I'm not sure they even exist here. But I would love it if I could hibernate and not show my face for an entire winter. I feel like I'm not suitable for public viewing as it is now. My hippo thighs make it completely impossible to wear shorts. Maybe hippos hibernate. If that's the case, I'll see you all in April.