Cesspool

Things are strange. Strangely present, and absent at the same time. I often marvel at my ability to temporarily forget all that ails me. I don't know how I do it. But it always comes back and creeps into my skull when I let my guard down. When I have nothing else to concentrate on. And sometimes it is serious business. I don't want serious business. So I reschedule it for another time when I might be able to cope with serious business and not lose my mind in some wallowing cesspool of doom and destruction. But I think I already stepped in it.

I realize what a not so nice person I am. It is rather late at night, but not extremely, and my new roomie has one of her hater friends over. This guy makes my skin crawl; because he is a psycho hater, but also because he is just weird and creepy. And he has a lisp. And I don't understand why they are rearranging her furniture at 11:00 at night. Why don't they do it during a Saturday afternoon? God this is annoying. I just want to come home from work and not have to deal with having guests in the house and trying to figure out if it is polite to just go in my room and shut the door and not say anything. Plus I want this guy out of the house. And he seems to be here every day. Or one of the other hater friends that comes over late and maybe stays over and I'm just tired of having house guests all the time when I don't even know her that well so she is like a houseguest herself. AAAAA! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!

My change of venue has been approved. Good things. New things. Interesting things. Different things. But not enough to pull me out of the cesspool. Of course, that all comes later, when someone decides to throw me a rope.