Wild Cats

Still hovering. And hurting. I spent today doing nothing, and boy am I tired. What's wrong with me? I feel old. I noticed a stray cat slinking around in the bushes at work today. Actually, it was more like a kitten, but it was completely wild. I think I saw another one last week that was bigger. So I'm assuming there's a family of wild cats living somewhere on the premises, but god knows where. I feel bad for the cat, because I really like cats and would probably take him home if I could get close to him. But work is no place for a cat, wild or otherwise. Plus, they employ some sort of herding dog, so if she ever gets wind of cats, that will be it for them, I'm sure.

I think I'm in a bit of a funk lately, and I'm not sure why or how. It's not my regular kind of funk. It's more of an apathetic, lethargic kind of funk where I don't really care about much of anything and I'm tired a lot of the time. Plus, my body aches. The hippie chiro has been unable to completely rid my neck of this kink that has been showing up at random for the past week or so. I take the kink as a sure sign that I am overworked and overstressed about something. Although I'm not sure I could pinpoint it to just one thing.

My dreams have also taken a turn that is mostly bad. I had a dream last night that my dad died, and it really freaked me out. Who dreams this stuff??? I feel like I'm fucked up because these things are going on in my mind without my permission. The other dream was that I went to this awesome film festival at the last minute and everyone was happy to see me there. Both dreams were equally emotional and vivid, but on completely different ends of the spectrum. Plus they happened in the same night, quite possibly around the same time since they are the only ones I remember. It freaks me out when I have nightmares, because it really makes me uncomfortable that my own mind is able to concoct scenarios that are so much scarier than anything I could consciously imagine.

Perhaps they are like the wild cats, but in my mind.