My New Mantra

Lazy day. I called dear ol' Dad to wish him a happy day. He wasn't home and didn't call back. For once I actually sat on the couch and did absolutely nothing. It felt great. I went to work; the kind of day at work that it should be all the time, but isn't. Got home. No calls.

I'm trying to not slip down to where I was before. I was doing so well. I'd like doing well to last more than a week. He went away for the weekend and should be back today. I thought he might call, but he didn't. I wanted him to. Not that it's a big deal. I just wanted him to. I keep telling myself that I'm not making these kinds of decisions any more, so it's ok. My new mantra has arrived. I'll try not to wear this one out so fast.

At least when I'm not driving I don't have to sit and debate about whether or not I should call. If he wanted to talk to me, he would do the seven digits. I just wait. And try not to worry about things. Because really, there's nothing to worry about. It's all just me. And now this is me not fretting. Or at least trying not to. We'll talk tomorrow. That's fine. That's his decision. I'm ok with that. That's what I wanted. To not want. Don't leave me, mantra.