Hormones

My uterus isn't sure what to think of the hormones (or lack therof) in my body. I had a normal, regular supply when the pills were taking care of it. But now that I have been without for two and a half weeks, I've started experiencing mild cramps, which never happens. Is this what it's like to be a woman? I often feel like I'm not really one of them. I'm not a card-carrying member. I'be been kicked out of the club. From both sides. And here come the hormones I've kept away for something like five years.

Plus I haven't had sex in over half a year. Yes, I feel the absence. But haven't found any worthy candidates who are willing. Or really just any worthy candidates. I could have a couple of weeks ago. But it just didn't seem like the right thing to do. Because I didn't want it to just be sex. Call me greedy. I want more. Is that too much? Perhaps my hormones can't keep things straight for me well enough. I want to get things straightened out. I want to be touched and be soft. I want to want.