New
I finally was able to rest my head at about ten minutes to seven in the morning. I have no explanation as to why I was unable to sleep. So I think my evening slumber totalled about 2 hours, then 6 awake hours, then 3 hours. But I feel ok today. Actually I feel mostly ok. Healthy ok.
I've relived so many moments of my last year and a half in the last 12 hours, and I'm constantly baffled. And saddened by how quickly everything spiraled downwards. And the only thing I want is the only thing I can't have. But I'm trying to live without. Trying to find new pathways of life that will eventually be important.
Like eating. I've decided to try to eat healthily. For real this time. And the new of the day is that the health food store is way cheaper than the regular grocery store. So now I know where to go. And my mom will be so proud; I had my antioxidants today. Ah, Blueberries. I still have sit-ups to do today.
I started a little herb garden today. I actually got my hands dirty and potted my little herbs. I'm already looking forward to the cooking I will be able to do with my fresh herbs. And I wore one of my new bikinis today, but just in the backyard. I think I look hot, even with tiny boobs. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to try it out at the beach, if it's not cloudy.
I'm going to start my research. I'm going to stick with it. I'm going to have thorough knowledge if my subject when I come before the committee. There's a lot of stuff I'm going to have to read, write, watch, and listen to in order to get there. Which is why I have to start now.
I have to go to class tonight, and I really don't want to. Because Wednesday was such a terrible day and I don't want a repeat. I don't want Big D to show up, I don't want to deal with questions, comments, or concerns. I don't want to fight traffic. My weekend has been peaceful, and I have been wanting it to last forever. But I know the peacefulness will end at some point. There is no stopping it. All I can do is try to come up with other things to care about besides him.
I've relived so many moments of my last year and a half in the last 12 hours, and I'm constantly baffled. And saddened by how quickly everything spiraled downwards. And the only thing I want is the only thing I can't have. But I'm trying to live without. Trying to find new pathways of life that will eventually be important.
Like eating. I've decided to try to eat healthily. For real this time. And the new of the day is that the health food store is way cheaper than the regular grocery store. So now I know where to go. And my mom will be so proud; I had my antioxidants today. Ah, Blueberries. I still have sit-ups to do today.
I started a little herb garden today. I actually got my hands dirty and potted my little herbs. I'm already looking forward to the cooking I will be able to do with my fresh herbs. And I wore one of my new bikinis today, but just in the backyard. I think I look hot, even with tiny boobs. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to try it out at the beach, if it's not cloudy.
I'm going to start my research. I'm going to stick with it. I'm going to have thorough knowledge if my subject when I come before the committee. There's a lot of stuff I'm going to have to read, write, watch, and listen to in order to get there. Which is why I have to start now.
I have to go to class tonight, and I really don't want to. Because Wednesday was such a terrible day and I don't want a repeat. I don't want Big D to show up, I don't want to deal with questions, comments, or concerns. I don't want to fight traffic. My weekend has been peaceful, and I have been wanting it to last forever. But I know the peacefulness will end at some point. There is no stopping it. All I can do is try to come up with other things to care about besides him.
posted by Ocean | 3:41 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home