Matters

He used to be my friend but now he's just my pen pal. Today he sent a postcard with a picture of the last hotel we ever stayed in while we were together. That's diabolical. Cruel. Mean, even. To remind me of one of the last places I was ever happy because he was by my side and I thought we were on the same page. Why would someone do that? I can't even really think of when he would have picked up this card, since we were together pretty much all the time. Maybe it was when he wanted to read and I wanted to talk so he left and said he would be back later and I felt really bad because I didn't know he wanted to read so bad. And I said I would shutup but it didn't matter and I felt bad again because he didn't believe me. And I was naked and it didn't matter at all. Maybe it never did. It definitely doesn't now.

I wonder if he would set me up with some guy friend if he thought we would be good together.
I wonder if he's really looking.
I wonder if it even matters.
Or if I ever did.