In the Nap

Today is a day for me. I don't have anywhere to go. If the clouds disperse, I might even wander over to the beach. I always seem to find myself there when I have spare moments. Not that I have a bunch to spare, but I feel like I'm going crazy in this life. I have been doing work for school for the past couple of hours, and I feel like I'm getting nowhere. Render, render, render. Surrender.

I want to go to sleep and never wake up. Stay huddled in my bed until the apocalypse. It wouldn't be so bad. At least I wouldn't be sleepy then. I don't really understand why I am now, but I feel like I could sleep for eight more hours just fine. Sometimes I marvel at how diffiicult it is to be a normal person. I try to read something, and I can't, because it causes my mind to jump in a hundred directions at once. I try to relax, and I end up stewing. I try to enjoy a movie, and I end up scrutinizing. I start school work, and I end up realizing I had more than I thought and making no progress. I go for a drive, and end up reminiscing. Or fantasizing about driving far far away where no one knows me. I hear people talking, I assume they are talking about me. Where does it all end? In the nap, perhaps.