Ten Pounds

I am the girl that everyone hates. I am naturally thin. Although a little unnaturally thin at the moment. And the worst part is, I can't tell the difference between 112 pounds and 127. I only know what people tell me. And they are telling me that I look unhealthy. So I've decided that I need to gain about ten pounds to look healthy again. I am the only woman alive trying to find weight instead of losing it. And it scares the shit out of me. I am already weird enough. This is just one more thing. Plus, I'm terrified of getting fat, which is probably how I got here in the first place. What if I gain ten pounds, then fifteen, the twenty, or thirty? What if I end up with a gut that makes me afraid to wear anything that fits? What if I end up looking yucky? I realize that being too thin is unattractive, but so is being fat. And being thin is so much easier and more acceptable. But maybe I'm not getting laid because I'm too skinny. Because I don't look good. Among other things.