WWID?

And on the second day...

I started thinking about the current state of my affairs. Or the lack thereof. And the state of my insides. I started thinking about what I know I want, what I know I can't have, and how those things affect how I act. And then I started thinking about hypotheticals; about how I would act if certain situations presented themselves.

What Would I Do?

If someone that wasn't a total perv or really creepy actually asked me out? If he tried to kiss me? If the man I really want said he never wanted to speak to me again? If he told me he was seeing someone? Or getting married? Or moving far far away? What if he wanted to ask me out on a date? Try things again?

These all seem like such stupid questions, mostly because they probably aren't going to happen. And the simple truth is, I don't know what I would do. In any of those situations. And it seems like these are simple questions that should have some sort of answer. But my insides are so inside-out that I don't know what's what or where anything goes. And maybe it doesn't even matter. Maybe I'm so dead that these questions are already moot. Because I can't have feelings for people anymore.