Almost the End

Well, it's almost the end of the year. Almost the end of a month that I never wanted to happen in the first place. I wish I could look back on the year and say, look, I did that, and that, and that. I accomplished a lot. But I can't. Because I didn't. I didn't do a damn thing. Except whine.

Last night I remembered how he picked me up at the airport last year. And how he kissed me when I saw him and I was a little embarassed because I wasn't used to kissing in public, but I figured it's the airport so it's ok. And then we spent pretty much every day together until school started.

I'll be going home next week, since I couldn't go home last week. But rest assured there will be no kisses at the airport this time. I haven't even worked up the gumption to ask for a ride. Maybe I should just take a cab. And there won't be the late night two hour phone calls like last year, or the sweet 'I miss you's and would you like to come here for New Year's. Which is yet another memory I'm going to be recalling painfully in another 24 hours. Just great.

Memory sucks. And I've started counting again. Which only makes things harder. Because they go so much slower when you're watching.