Break Out

So it's finally here. The last day. I never thought it would get here. My day started with the phone ringing at 9 am. Far too early for anyone to be calling me. Everyone knows that I don't answer the phone before 10. So I rolled over to check the caller ID and it was work. Fuck them, I thought. Unless they're calling to give me the day off. They can leave me a message and I'll listen later. But of course they didn't. So they woke me up for nothing and I was never able to get back to sleep after that. Jerks.

Today I get to look forward to another depressing day at work when I have to pretend like I'm happy and enjoying all this to people that have way too much money for their own good and are way too cheap for my own good. Jerks. I'm just praying I'll get out of there before midnight, because no one wants to start off a new year at work. That's really really depressing.

And I get to think about last year. How I wore the Asian inspired corset and he and I walked out to a big rock on the beach and watched the sunset. And we named all the colors of the sunset we could think of. And then he made lobster and we drank champagne and sat by the fire and started the new year with the clink of glasses and a kiss. Happy New Year.

This year he wants to be alone. I get it, but I don't like it. Because I don't want to be alone. And I don't want to be around people who are paying for my presence. I want to be around someone who matters to me. I want to be somewhere that isn't glitter and party favors and the band playing Auld Lang Syne and people everywhere kissing for no other reason than because that's what you do.

I want to have hopes for next year. I haven't yet thought of what to hope for. I'm not really sure. Last year it seemed there were no boundaries, no limits. This year it seems that they are everywhere, and my only hope is to break out.