It's My Fault

Today I found out that everything is my fault. Everything. My fault.

He says he shouldn't touch me like that. He says I'm not helping him stop. It's my fault he's doing something he doesn't think he should do.

He says she won't sit with us because of me. I let off a bad 'vibe'. In the opinion of the self-absorbed quirky blonde who barely has time to ask me how I am, I wasn't happy to see her. I didn't even see her at all until her back was turned away from me. But it is, of course, my fault.

I'm "checking up" on him. He said, I'll talk to you tonight. I call an hour after class. No answer. No call. It's raining. Another hour passes. It's now two hours after class. Tonight is now tomorrow. It's still raining. We don't get rain. I call again. Hope everything is ok. Call me if you feel like it, or I'll see you tomorrow. It's now one am. Ring ring. What's up? Are you checking up on me? It's my fault he thinks this. Because he told me we would talk tonight, and I'm a bit concerned that he isn't home 3 hours after class AND he has always told me to call whenever I feel like it. But obviously his definition of "whenever" is different from mine. So this misunderstanding is also my fault.

My film is dragging out. I fucked up. We had to re-shoot. I can only concentrate on a limited number of things at once. So a couple get overlooked. So we're behind. My fault.

So if you're looking for someone to blame, look no further. If the Red Sox tank, leave me a nasty message. If the Cards blow it, do the same. Losing the football pool? I did it. Late again? My doing. Having trouble in school, with a lover, a parent, a roommate, boss, or pet? Me, me, me, me, me, me.

Thought you'd all like to know.