Crappy Day

Today was a crappy day. And nothing really happened. It was just one of those days where I felt like I was walking knee deep in mud, and wasn't getting anywhere. Work was sitting at a standstill, and even seemed like it was sliding backwards. I got to a point where I was just pretending to do work because it seemed like actually doing work was undoing work that I had previously done. And the catfights between two other women I have to work with was really getting to me, where I just wanted to scream. They're ridiculous issues with each other was actually making more work for me, which was pissing me off. I wanted to fire them both. But I can't. I'm stuck with pretty much everyone I work with, whether they suck or not.

I also got an email from Cheryl, telling me she was mad at me. I had no idea, because I haven't done anything to her. There is literally no reason for her to be mad at me, but these were the ones she gave: I didn't call her, and I wished her a happy birthday on facebook. Apparently, I was supposed to call her or something. Don't worry that I actually visited her a week later, but apparently a facebook birthday is unacceptable. Who knew? And for the record, that's all she did for my birthday, and she's unemployed. It's not like she doesn't have time to do other things. Like send a card. Like the postcard I sent her from Spain. Yes, I suppose it's neglectful for me to be busy with a job and traveling overseas and only send a postcard, instead of talking to her on the phone for 3 hours. I might add, that if I did call her, she would just bitch about how much she hates her life for the entire three hours, and expect me to listen to it. The lack of fun things to talk about doesn't entice me to call. And apparently, that's a one way street, and she can't call me. All of this was news to me. Anyway, it really bummed me out that I was being blamed for all her problems and unhappiness when I haven't done anything mean to her.

And then there's this oppressive feeling of loneliness that just appeared out of nowhere, and I wasn't quite prepared for it. I just felt like there's no one on my side, no one to talk to, and no one to trust. I'm so tired of having to deal with all of this alone, and deal with every person on my own. Even when there is somebody in my life, they end up being a whole other source of frustration and drama that it's almost easier to not have them at all.

But anyway, the short version of the story is that today sucked. And I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow. Or that I could have just a couple of days off and spend them as I wish, without anyone expecting anything from me.