Sociopath
Argh. It sucks how people how plan to never see again manage to pop up in your life. I've seen Jerkface twice this weekend. Today he was with his 'girlfriend', Ms. No Personality. I watched him WALK AWAY FROM HER to come talk to me. She never spoke a word to me. Don't know if she doesn't care or is completely oblivious or what. Still, I'm way hotter than her. Seeing her again reminded me of just how much. She's toast compared to my decadent pastry. Seriously.
The other night, I went out with my peeps. I wore a very short black skirt and a black lace corset with the big red butterfly in my hair. I looked ridiculously hot. Felt hot too. Anyway, his sister in law saw me and started talking to me, then her husband, then his friend Mel. I thought little of it and got another drink. Next thing I know, there's someone tapping my shoulder and it's Jerkface. With his brother. One of those situations where bro goes to the other bro and says 'Hey, I just saw something you need to see. Come with me". And so he did. And then he saw what he's missing. 100 bucks says his gf was wearing jeans and a stupid blouse. Not that she has much to show off anyway. Except maybe her penis.
Then comes the dumb conversation.
Him: Why didn't you invite me to the thing last week?
Me: (in my head) Um, because I have no interest in seeing you. (for real) You need to learn to plan ahead.
Him: Can't believe you didn't invite me.
Me: You could've gotten in if you'd really wanted to. (in my head) Your GF probably bitched so you gave up and went home.
Me: Nice shirt. Gift? (in my head) Because she buys everything for you, you lazy SOB.
Him: Yes. But I picked it out.
Me: It's nice. (in my head) Of course you did. She has no taste, so she could never pick something like that out. I would, you idiot.
Him: You look nice. (subtext) I wish I could have sex with you right now.
Me: Thanks. (subtext) Fuck off. p.s. Did you notice I'm standing next to a hot lacrosse player?
And then I ran into him today, which actually wasn't that much of a surprise, but I had hoped to avoid him. His mom invited me to a thing at the park and asked me to hang out for a while. Which ended up being about 4 hours. It was ok, though. His parents are a riot. I'm a little concerned that his mom might be my new BF. It's weird. But she's fun. The GF kept her distance from both his parents and myself for most of the time they were there. When they showed up in the afternoon, it was clear he'd had some alcohol. Classy. He was sitting with her on the grass as she didn't blend in, and I caught him looking at me several times (never underestimate the advantage of sunglasses). He's mentally cheating when she's sitting right there with him. Or he's worried about what his mom might say to me. Which could be anything, to be honest. (actually, she doesn't talk about him that much)
When I left, his mom gave me a big hug. His dad (who I've only met once before) told me to not be a stranger. Told me to come out to something but I didn't catch what it was or when. Or who. His bro and bro's wife gave me goodbye hugs. I noticed him positioning himself (away from the GF) in a place where I would have to walk past him to leave.
Him: Thanks for hanging out with my parents.
Me: Well, you know they love me. (subtext) And hate Ms. No Personality. Just like you.
And I left. And since then I've been trying to figure out how to do what I want and not have him around. Which is actually a bit of a pickle since we like all the same stuff.
New subject:
I have a date on Tuesday. Some guy I met on Friday. Mike. 25. It should be interesting. It is weird to me that I have a date with someone I met but don't know. And when I see him again I'll be sober, which could be a little strange. I was already about 5 drinks in when I met him. I'm a little worried that the picture in my head won't match reality. I remember nice teeth. And something about a pharmacy. And a little gay friend wearing glow lights. We'll see what develops.
Anyway, the moral of this story is that men suck. Seriously. Either that or I'm a sociopath.
The other night, I went out with my peeps. I wore a very short black skirt and a black lace corset with the big red butterfly in my hair. I looked ridiculously hot. Felt hot too. Anyway, his sister in law saw me and started talking to me, then her husband, then his friend Mel. I thought little of it and got another drink. Next thing I know, there's someone tapping my shoulder and it's Jerkface. With his brother. One of those situations where bro goes to the other bro and says 'Hey, I just saw something you need to see. Come with me". And so he did. And then he saw what he's missing. 100 bucks says his gf was wearing jeans and a stupid blouse. Not that she has much to show off anyway. Except maybe her penis.
Then comes the dumb conversation.
Him: Why didn't you invite me to the thing last week?
Me: (in my head) Um, because I have no interest in seeing you. (for real) You need to learn to plan ahead.
Him: Can't believe you didn't invite me.
Me: You could've gotten in if you'd really wanted to. (in my head) Your GF probably bitched so you gave up and went home.
Me: Nice shirt. Gift? (in my head) Because she buys everything for you, you lazy SOB.
Him: Yes. But I picked it out.
Me: It's nice. (in my head) Of course you did. She has no taste, so she could never pick something like that out. I would, you idiot.
Him: You look nice. (subtext) I wish I could have sex with you right now.
Me: Thanks. (subtext) Fuck off. p.s. Did you notice I'm standing next to a hot lacrosse player?
And then I ran into him today, which actually wasn't that much of a surprise, but I had hoped to avoid him. His mom invited me to a thing at the park and asked me to hang out for a while. Which ended up being about 4 hours. It was ok, though. His parents are a riot. I'm a little concerned that his mom might be my new BF. It's weird. But she's fun. The GF kept her distance from both his parents and myself for most of the time they were there. When they showed up in the afternoon, it was clear he'd had some alcohol. Classy. He was sitting with her on the grass as she didn't blend in, and I caught him looking at me several times (never underestimate the advantage of sunglasses). He's mentally cheating when she's sitting right there with him. Or he's worried about what his mom might say to me. Which could be anything, to be honest. (actually, she doesn't talk about him that much)
When I left, his mom gave me a big hug. His dad (who I've only met once before) told me to not be a stranger. Told me to come out to something but I didn't catch what it was or when. Or who. His bro and bro's wife gave me goodbye hugs. I noticed him positioning himself (away from the GF) in a place where I would have to walk past him to leave.
Him: Thanks for hanging out with my parents.
Me: Well, you know they love me. (subtext) And hate Ms. No Personality. Just like you.
And I left. And since then I've been trying to figure out how to do what I want and not have him around. Which is actually a bit of a pickle since we like all the same stuff.
New subject:
I have a date on Tuesday. Some guy I met on Friday. Mike. 25. It should be interesting. It is weird to me that I have a date with someone I met but don't know. And when I see him again I'll be sober, which could be a little strange. I was already about 5 drinks in when I met him. I'm a little worried that the picture in my head won't match reality. I remember nice teeth. And something about a pharmacy. And a little gay friend wearing glow lights. We'll see what develops.
Anyway, the moral of this story is that men suck. Seriously. Either that or I'm a sociopath.
posted by Ocean | 11:46 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home