Fat Lip
Yesterday I had to take a written test, all essay. I figure it must be about seven years since I last took a test like that. It took me about 90 minutes to get through the three questions, and my arm from my shoulder to my fingers is still sore. It seems diabolical to make people write. No one writes anymore. They type.
I called Kid A yesterday, and miraculously, he answered. And we talked for a while and then he had to go and I still felt bad. He said he was mad but he didn't want to tell me what he's mad about, because he said he didn't want to ruin his mood. Fine. Mine's only been ruined for the past two weeks. Why should yours be spoiled? So I tried to forget about it and had dinner with my girlfriend (she cooked). I didn't mention it to her either, because I know she'll either get mad or give me some kind of advice that I really don't want to hear. Then she wanted to come to my house to watch tv, so we did. And sometime later, he called again, while she was still at my house. But she told me to answer it and I did. Homeboy was kind of sideways after having some beers with his boys, and now he was at home calling me. I don't know why. And I wasn't in the mood to talk about anything serious since he was not normal (although it might have been a good time to grill him since his guard was down). I'm not smart enough to figure out why he acts towards me like he does. It doesn't make any sense to me. And normally I would be happy that he's talking to me and some sort of balance has returned to the universe, but I'm still depressed because I'm not getting anywhere.
I considered deleting him from my phone last night. Because I'm tired of feeling like I always have to be careful. I don't want to be careful; I want to be me.
And then I woke up this morning with a fat lip because I must have been chewing on it while I was asleep. It kind of hurts, but it really feels weird more than anything. It's only one side, so I feel a little bit like Popeye. I just need the pipe and the squint. So that's the story. That's what I'm giving to the pro at the club (except for the fat lip, which is unimportant). I may also ask her for some chemical comfort, even though it goes against everything I've ever thought about myself. Anyway, we'll see.
I have to do schoolwork now. Or at least pretend like I'm going to do it.
I called Kid A yesterday, and miraculously, he answered. And we talked for a while and then he had to go and I still felt bad. He said he was mad but he didn't want to tell me what he's mad about, because he said he didn't want to ruin his mood. Fine. Mine's only been ruined for the past two weeks. Why should yours be spoiled? So I tried to forget about it and had dinner with my girlfriend (she cooked). I didn't mention it to her either, because I know she'll either get mad or give me some kind of advice that I really don't want to hear. Then she wanted to come to my house to watch tv, so we did. And sometime later, he called again, while she was still at my house. But she told me to answer it and I did. Homeboy was kind of sideways after having some beers with his boys, and now he was at home calling me. I don't know why. And I wasn't in the mood to talk about anything serious since he was not normal (although it might have been a good time to grill him since his guard was down). I'm not smart enough to figure out why he acts towards me like he does. It doesn't make any sense to me. And normally I would be happy that he's talking to me and some sort of balance has returned to the universe, but I'm still depressed because I'm not getting anywhere.
I considered deleting him from my phone last night. Because I'm tired of feeling like I always have to be careful. I don't want to be careful; I want to be me.
And then I woke up this morning with a fat lip because I must have been chewing on it while I was asleep. It kind of hurts, but it really feels weird more than anything. It's only one side, so I feel a little bit like Popeye. I just need the pipe and the squint. So that's the story. That's what I'm giving to the pro at the club (except for the fat lip, which is unimportant). I may also ask her for some chemical comfort, even though it goes against everything I've ever thought about myself. Anyway, we'll see.
I have to do schoolwork now. Or at least pretend like I'm going to do it.
posted by Ocean | 10:34 AM
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