Hangin'

I'm not sure whay to say. I want to be a different person; one that is not bitter and angry and mean like I have become. I don't like being this person. Part of me wants to say that it's perfectly natural for me to feel this way, but I know I don't have to be that way. I'm just allowing myself to be sucked into the black hole of indignance and justification and entitlement that's so in right now.

But I want to be the forgiving, trusted person I should be. I'm just not sure how to be that. Because I find myself hurting more than I find myself helping and I'm so good at being enemy to myself. Sigh. It shouldn't be this difficult, but for some reason it is. And these are problems that take so much sorting and sifting that the pro at the club is going to have her hands full if we ever get to that part.

So maybe the only thing I really need to cultivate is patience, because impatience is what has gotten me into all this troulbe in the first place. I just need more than I have, and I need a little more from my friends too. Just don't leave me hangin'.