Fast Forward

I am so discouraged. I want to move somewhere else and it's not going very well. I hate this feeling. The feeling of being out of control, broke, and generally unhappy. It's like things are working against me on all sides. It's such a complicated thing because it seems like it comes out of nowhere and grabs onto me. I'm so easily discouraged when things don't go well; every setback seems 100 times bigger than it really is. But it still sucks. I want to push fast forward and skip to the part where things are going my way. Is that even possible? Sometimes it seems like that part is so far ahead, I'd be skipping several years of my life. But on the other hand, it seems like so many of the previous ones have been wasted anyway.