Jury's Out

So the jury is currently out. Am I a good friend or a bad friend? Bad person or good person? Selfish or just tired? So this friend, the one I've recently complained about, is still distraught about her problems, which are a result of her recent departure from reality. She's completely delusional, and on top of that, is refusing every effort at constructive help from people who care about her. Including me. So yes, she's really upset, and I've never seen her so out of sorts. Yes, I'm sympathetic, and am willing to lend my support in any way she asks. Even though she's not going to ask.

So here's the rub: someone else told me I need to be a friend to her. Nevermind that two weeks ago I had a meltdown that left me paralyzed in a poorly lit parking lot and wishing for a carjacking to put me out of my misery. Nevermind that I haven't felt this depressed, lonely, or unwanted in many many many years (if ever). The important thing is to be available to someone else, who has no idea (because she never bothered to talk to me) what I'm going through.

I'm not asking her to be normal, because she never will be. Neither will I. I'm just asking for her to think about someone else every now and then and realize that it's not always going to be about her and her problems. I'd also like for other people to realize that I have my own problems as well and I do what I can. And I will continue to do so. Because that's all I know how to do. And it's all I'm able to do.