Superficial

So I went to LA yesterday on an art trek in an Expedition (which I loathe, but since it was full of people, it's tolerable) to see a couple of exhibitions. I hate LA, but it was a decent visit with decent people that I enjoy talking to, even though I'm not really one of them. So there I was, standing at the top of the foyer, looking down at the stuff all around me and though about calling him. I was so close to pulling out my phone and saying "Wow, wish you were here. It's pretty cool and you're missing out." But I didn't. Because I couldn't get over the feeling that I would be disturbing him while he's doing something more important than I could ever be, that our conversation would be short and unfulfilling and leave me with that huge hole of emptiness that his indifference always instills in me. And then I thought, if he wanted to talk to me, he would call me. Which ends up being my answer. He doesn't want to talk to me, or he would. So I'm going through my weekend, thinking this, remembering that I don't need to torture myself by calling someone who doesn't really want to hear from me at all. I'm making a wager with myself that I won't hear from him all weekend.

And let me tell you why.

It's because he recently let me in on the fact that he is willing to have a superficial friendship, one where we only discuss the good things in our lives and everything is super and we don't really have talks or confide in each other and stick to subjects like the weather. He claims that this is ok because I'm "so important", he doesn't want to risk me getting mad at him and never speaking to him again. To me, it sounds ridiculous, because the kind of friendship he is willing to have with me results in him not knowing me at all anyway, which doesn't sound good to me at all. I have enough superficial relationships in my life already. People that have no idea who I am or how I feel or what is going on with me.

So, here's your superficial friendship. The one where I don't call, you don't call, we only talk about happy things, and cease to know each other. Thanks for nothing.