Hypothetical/Rhetorical

I'm not sure what to do with my life. But I know I want to do something with it. Something good. So there's this hole in my chest where my heart used to be before it was broken in a million pieces and disintegrated into nothing. I thought it would take care of itself and I would eventually be completely ready for another round of heartbreak and disappointment. But so far that hasn't happened. It's been a long long time that I've waited for some sort of healing (or at least forgetting) to happen, and now it seems I'm at a crossroads of a sort.

So this is it: Do I resign myself to a life of solitude plus forty cats, or do I go out with someone who will really just be anyone because I don't have anything left to give to someone? I guess this is really just a hypothetical/rhetorical game, since relationships aren't really my thing anyway. I'm not the one that gets to choose to stay or go. I've been booted by the time I start to get a little bit comfortable.

Part of me wants to date again, but I don't really want to go through the stress of finding and interviewing someone to see if they are a psycho or not. It's just uncomfortable to think that I might get someone to like me even a little bit and then I'll decide I didn't want it in the first place because I have nothing to offer them. Or I'll figure out that I'm not as bad off as I thought and I'll start to like someone and then he'll dump me just like everyone else.

But like I said, this is really just a hypothetical/rhetorical question, since no one would ever want a broke-ass geeky, but not-so-bright chick with glasses anyway.