Tricky Tuesday
It's a Tricky Tuesday. The day that has life playing mind games with me. I find myself desired in a strange and perverse way. I like it, but don't know what to do about it. When it comes right down to it, I'm a good girl. And I want good girl things. Is it possible to tell someone that all you want for your birthday is him? I guess I know it's possible, but the part that stops me is where he says I don't want to give that to you. I don't want to get hitched in Reno, or grow old together, or promise you any kind of devotion. So I don't ask. Because I know that's what's coming. And I don't handle rejection terribly well, as evidenced by the past year and a half.
And then things split into this thing that could be super great and wonderful but completely out of my grasp, or this thing that could be super seedy and trashy and not at all my style or jiving with my moral code, but completely doable, if I so chose.
I have a talent for people who are unavailable. It doesn't matter why they're unavailable, but I can sniff them out like a dog can find a crotch. It's inevitable. If he's married, engaged, or got a girlfriend, he'll want me. If he's on the rebound and will snap out of it shortly, he'll want me (but only for that time period of about 72 days). If he lives in another town, state, time zone, or country, he'll want me. If he is in need of a mommy (rather than a girlfriend), he'll want me. If he's trying to make someone jealous, he'll want me. If he's going to jail, he'll want me. And actually, my finely attuned sense of unavailability in others will recognize this and drag me to him like one of those supermagnets you see in the comic books. Sometimes I stop myself in time, sometimes I don't.
Jail and other women are usually easy to spot. Where he lives can be, depending on the situation. Momma's boys don't show themselves until after about three weeks. And the rebound guy will always blindside you, leaving you wondering what that thing was as he trots into the sunset without you. Because he will never admit he's on the rebound. At least not to you.
How do I find all these people? I've often boiled it down to bad timing. If only I'd met him six months earlier/later. This may or may not be true. If he was single, would he still find me attractive, or would the thought of having to come home to me every day frighten him out of his skull? If he could see me more than one weekend a month, would he want to? Or am I some perverse version of the ME RESERVES? I guess that would be an army of two. As far as I know. But in the end, I think it's just some sort of joke fate is playing on me. I am marked for stupid twists that don't happen to other people and I will never understand.
Some people are great authors, or thinkers, or innovators. Some are great at math, or sales. Some are creative. But I have an altogether different talent. Want your guy to finally commit? Send him to me. After jerking me around for just over a month, he will come running back to you and propose. I have the statistics to prove it.
And then things split into this thing that could be super great and wonderful but completely out of my grasp, or this thing that could be super seedy and trashy and not at all my style or jiving with my moral code, but completely doable, if I so chose.
I have a talent for people who are unavailable. It doesn't matter why they're unavailable, but I can sniff them out like a dog can find a crotch. It's inevitable. If he's married, engaged, or got a girlfriend, he'll want me. If he's on the rebound and will snap out of it shortly, he'll want me (but only for that time period of about 72 days). If he lives in another town, state, time zone, or country, he'll want me. If he is in need of a mommy (rather than a girlfriend), he'll want me. If he's trying to make someone jealous, he'll want me. If he's going to jail, he'll want me. And actually, my finely attuned sense of unavailability in others will recognize this and drag me to him like one of those supermagnets you see in the comic books. Sometimes I stop myself in time, sometimes I don't.
Jail and other women are usually easy to spot. Where he lives can be, depending on the situation. Momma's boys don't show themselves until after about three weeks. And the rebound guy will always blindside you, leaving you wondering what that thing was as he trots into the sunset without you. Because he will never admit he's on the rebound. At least not to you.
How do I find all these people? I've often boiled it down to bad timing. If only I'd met him six months earlier/later. This may or may not be true. If he was single, would he still find me attractive, or would the thought of having to come home to me every day frighten him out of his skull? If he could see me more than one weekend a month, would he want to? Or am I some perverse version of the ME RESERVES? I guess that would be an army of two. As far as I know. But in the end, I think it's just some sort of joke fate is playing on me. I am marked for stupid twists that don't happen to other people and I will never understand.
Some people are great authors, or thinkers, or innovators. Some are great at math, or sales. Some are creative. But I have an altogether different talent. Want your guy to finally commit? Send him to me. After jerking me around for just over a month, he will come running back to you and propose. I have the statistics to prove it.
posted by Ocean | 8:52 PM
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