Wasted Organs

I'm drunk and I want some.. Yeah, that's right. I want something that I can't have unless I pay for it, but who in hell would I ever find that I could even pay? What a fucking waste. What is the world coming to when a chic can't even get a guy with no strings attached?

Oh wait... I always have strings attached. God this sucks. I can't even believe how unfair it is that a hot girl like me would go to waste in this day and age. Yes, it's true. I may not be a 23 year old virgin, but I was spurned by a man and now I'm damaged goods and any guy can smell that a mile away. I might as well have it tattooed into my forehead. And while I'm at it, there are a couple of organs I could donate to someone who could actually put them to good use. Course, there's a good possibility that mine don't even work. Which would only be par for the course.

P.S. Is there some reason I keep seeing the marriage/abortion episodes of Sex and the City? I think I've seen them about three or four times without trying. Does HBO have a message for me? Something I should be grasping but I'm too stupid to figure out?