Evolutionary Roadkill
Television is damaging. Especially Sex and the City. Oh yes, I know everyone loves it, and I do too, but it's still bad. It makes me feel like more of a freak than I already feel like. Because I don't sit with the girls and dish the dirt and I don't date like it's a competitive sport. Actually, I don't date at all. Because I'm sour and I suck.
But when they are sitting around feeling fragile and sorry for themselves I can actually relate, except that I didn't just have a date with some guy who I thought was Mr. Perfect. I feel sorry and fragile because I've been blessed with melancholy that has afflicted my moods for nearly nine months. Almost long enough to have given birth. Wow. How pathetic.
And I can't stand those four girls. I've heard of the trend of claiming "I'm Carrie, or Charlotte" or whatever. And I'm not like any of them. They seem to have one for each presonality type: the prude, the sex-pot, the uptight career woman, and the flamboyant fun girl. I'm none of those. I hate all of them. They left out the morose, dateless misfit that has panic attacks for no reason in the middle of the night. They left out the girl that every day wants to crawl back to her ex and profess her undying love for him and beg him to take her back because she wants to work it out, but fights off the urge because she's already tried it too many times and now it's just pitiful and she's trying to salvage a tiny morsel of self-respect for the next humiliating relationship failure. They forgot that girl who doesn't really dress cool or stylishly, but people tell her "she has her own style" so she won't melt down in public. They forgot that bizarre girl that stops conversations with sheer weirdness that renders people speechless with shock.
No, those girls don't photograph well, and they never get their lines right. That's why you'll never see them on any show. Plus, they're kind of like the real life weakest link. If men out there started thinking women were actually like that and not like one of the four on the show, the entire future of the human race would be in doubt. No man wants something outside the fab four. They want the stereotype. Or at least the body. And I have neither of these. So I end up evolutionary roadkill. My mutations will die with me. And the next generation of women will be even closer to the "usual" that men really want. If only Darwin could see me now.
But when they are sitting around feeling fragile and sorry for themselves I can actually relate, except that I didn't just have a date with some guy who I thought was Mr. Perfect. I feel sorry and fragile because I've been blessed with melancholy that has afflicted my moods for nearly nine months. Almost long enough to have given birth. Wow. How pathetic.
And I can't stand those four girls. I've heard of the trend of claiming "I'm Carrie, or Charlotte" or whatever. And I'm not like any of them. They seem to have one for each presonality type: the prude, the sex-pot, the uptight career woman, and the flamboyant fun girl. I'm none of those. I hate all of them. They left out the morose, dateless misfit that has panic attacks for no reason in the middle of the night. They left out the girl that every day wants to crawl back to her ex and profess her undying love for him and beg him to take her back because she wants to work it out, but fights off the urge because she's already tried it too many times and now it's just pitiful and she's trying to salvage a tiny morsel of self-respect for the next humiliating relationship failure. They forgot that girl who doesn't really dress cool or stylishly, but people tell her "she has her own style" so she won't melt down in public. They forgot that bizarre girl that stops conversations with sheer weirdness that renders people speechless with shock.
No, those girls don't photograph well, and they never get their lines right. That's why you'll never see them on any show. Plus, they're kind of like the real life weakest link. If men out there started thinking women were actually like that and not like one of the four on the show, the entire future of the human race would be in doubt. No man wants something outside the fab four. They want the stereotype. Or at least the body. And I have neither of these. So I end up evolutionary roadkill. My mutations will die with me. And the next generation of women will be even closer to the "usual" that men really want. If only Darwin could see me now.
posted by Ocean | 10:43 PM
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